RPC | Boardthearc

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PREFACE: The Following document was discovered after an anonymous source left a sheaf of papers outside of an Archivists private residence. The Archivist has been questioned and relocated. -Dr. Medina

The Faceless God

Registered Phenomena Code: 866

Object Class: Epsilon-Black

Hazard Types: Immeasurable Hazard

Containment Protocols: RPC-866 is contained via the annual sacrifice of approximately three (3) virgin human females, preferably under the age of 18. If this is done, hypothetically, RPC-866 will return the page to normal be contained.

Description: RPC-866 is currently indescribable. As such, estimates shall be made as to what RPC-866 wants, needs, is, and can do. If any of this information is incorrect, it will be stricken from the document.

At this moment, RPC-866 is theorized to be a "metaphysical embodiment of primordial soup," and not a physical entity. As such, it is unknown what RPC-866 actually is. RPC-866 has shown the capability to communicate with intelligent life via telepathy, although this results in seizures and/or brain damage to the host. RPC-866 has made numerous appearances in human history, although mostly seen as an "evil" figure. The Board would like to remind all Authority personnel that RPC-866 is not evil, and is to be given annual blood sacrifices.

There are various current proposals as to neutralizing RPC-866, although the general consensus is that it would require a Theta-black class entity, of which the Authority currently does not possess. RPC-866 is known to have inspired various deities in various mythological pantheons, although generally depicted as pure chaos, as stated above. This is restated due to RPC-866 having edited the document. RPC-866 is not an entity, RPC-866 is a concept. The Board would like to remind all personnel that RPC-866 is not an entity.

According to recovered documents dating back to approximately █████ B.C.E, RPC-866 commonly takes the appearance of a snake humanoid goat pharaoh mass of tentacles incomprehensible horror black hole. RPC-866 has a thousand forms, and cannot be observed properly at this time.

Due to its relationship with the Children of Nihil primary religion(s), it is believed RPC-866 may have originally been perceived as a deity by them. However, no records exist of RPC-866 being a "sun" in the Nihil religion. There are, however, records of an "apocryphal flood" in the Nihil religion, which could possibly imply RPC-866. Further research into this topic is ongoing.

Due to the nature of RPC-866, a summary of the impact RPC-866 has had on human growth and/or culture is shown below. Note: the dates of appearances are not entirely accurate.

████ B.C.E - RPC-866 inspires the Egyptian deity Apophis.

Unknown - RPC-866 is speculated to have inspired the serpent that betrays Adam and Eve.

1812 B.C.E - RPC-866 is believed to have inspired Beelzebub. due to recent developments, this has been proven untrue.

████ B.C.E - RPC-866 inspires the deity prominently featured in some Children of Nihil documents, named ███████████.

30 B.C.E - The Egyptian empire falls. RPC-866 is believed to have taken part in this.

476 C.E - During the fall of Rome, it is believed RPC-866 took part in the pillaging of the capital.

33 C.E - RPC-866 betrays Jesus Christ.

700 C.E - RPC-866 is believed to have first given the Chinese gunpowder. After the Chinese use this for fireworks, RPC-866 de-manifests.

1340 C.E - RPC-866 is believed to have been associated with the black death.

1585 C.E - Roanoke disappears. RPC-866 is not responsible for this, however may have been involved.

1966 C.E - The Church of Satan is founded. RPC-866 is believed to have been associated.

[FURTHER LOGS REDACTED]

After further research, RPC-866 is revealed to be entirely harmless.

It is old.

Very.

and when there is no life left, there is always life right

right?

hey

you can't do that

can you?

that's not right

why is the dark such a bad thing?

it's warm

it's comforted you since you were but a cell

why would you be afraid of your parent?

it has never abused you

it has never controlled you

it has never told you "yes" nor "no"

it has simply been there

watching for you

why must you be afraid of it?

why?

what did it ever do to you?

Registered Phenomena Code: 866

Object Class: Epsilon-Black

Hazards: Immeasurable Hazard

Containment Protocols: RPC-866 is to be contained via the annual sacrifice of

that isn't going to work and you know it

didn't you already write that?

RPC-866 is not technically an anomaly, as it is (by natural standards) a completely natural phenomenon. It is not an entity, nor a tangible object, it is a concept.

you already said most of that too

just write something original for once

RPC-866 is capable of telepathically "communicating" with intelligent life. This has been recorded on one occasion. Although technically communicating, RPC-866 possesses no concept of language, thought, or conceivable brain. It is entirely unknown how RPC-866 even functions.

just

write

something

good

for

once

…

RPC-866 is currently unable able to edit this document. In the event RPC-866 edits this document, any edits it makes should be relatively easy to identify, and are to be subsequently ignored. If RPC-866's edits are found to be only observable to certain individuals, these individuals are to be classified as RPC-866-1. There has been one recorded case of RPC-866-1.

i said make it original

this is why your wife left you

As of █/█/98, RPC-866-1 instance(s) are to be given approximately five years of therapy, and are to be removed from any posts they once had at the Authority.

did you actually just

…

wait

no

After further research, RPC-866 is revealed to be currently incomprehensible to the human mind. It is beyond our current scientific model, beyond our current way of thinking, and beyond what our brains can currently handle without spontaneously combusting.

there

they'll believe that.

Anomalous Reaction Corps

ARC

Idea by Dr.Pants, Written by Anorak